Team USA tryouts were held at three different locations, with the final location in Seattle on August 12.  When I first saw the posting for tryouts, I thought it would be an opportunity to grow and learn as a skater; an opportunity to see first hand what the top level skaters were doing, and what expectations were for Team USA skaters.  I decided to keep the thought of actually attending the tryouts in the back of my mind before totally committing.  I’m not sure what made me finally decide, but I made the leap and registered on line.  Over the next several months, I went back and forth on whether I’d made the right decision, as well as questioning my own abilities.  Ultimately I made the decision to think positive and commit 100%.  I increased my time at the gym, lifted weights regularly, and started off-skate plyos (plyometric exercises).  A fellow skater, Rx Bex, was also making the trip to Seattle, and we worked together to motivate and encourage one another.

We arrived in Seattle and were excited to learn that Denver, Gotham, and Rat City were playing some scrimmage games that weekend at the Rat’s Nest (Rat City’s practice venue). We awaited the arrival of one of our past league members, Barbie Bombshell, who was also attending tryouts.  The three of us reunited and headed straight to the Rat’s Nest hoping to catch part of the Rat City and Denver game.  We were lucky enough to be able to watch the second half of the game, which also gave us the chance to check out the venue where tryouts would be held.  It was difficult to keep my nerves in check!  I was watching top players compete against one another, and was sitting in an audience with other top skaters from the team who had won the past two Hydra trophies — now three in a row!

When the game ended, we went out and feasted on some delicious pasta before heading to our room for a good night’s rest.  First we did a little skate maintenance, but soon we nodded off with dreams of red, white, and blue dancing in our heads.  In the morning we were ready to see what the day would hold.  We arrived at the venue to wait in the line with approximately 100-150 other skaters to get registered.  First they took our photos, then we put on our assigned colors, geared up, and jumped on the track for a little warm-up.  It was a little difficult skating simply due to the sheer number of skaters on the track.  The whistle blew promptly at 10am, and everyone stopped to wait for instructions.  Over the next couple of hours we were led through drills to assess our endurance, agility, skill level, ability to work together, and leadership skills. It was an awesome experience to be paired in a blocking drill with Rivas or Mick Swagger, like Bex and I were able to do.  Too soon it was time for a lunch break, and a cut to be made for what would be the final round of tryouts:  a scrimmage of  black versus white.  Bex, Barbie, and I were proud of our performances, yet we were pretty sure we would not make the final cut with the likes of Bonnie Thunders, Suzy Hot Rod, Scald Eagle, Rivas, Serelson, Mick Swagger, OMG WTF, Mercy, Sexy Sladie, and Smarty Pants (just to name a few) in the running for a 28-32 skater scrimmage roster.  An announcement was made that they were having a difficult time trimming down the number of skaters, so we were forced to wait even longer!  In the end we did not make the final cut, but we stayed and watched one of the most amazing scrimmages with an unbelievable roster.  Of the final 32 skaters on the 2014 Team USA roster, 19 of them attended the tryouts in Seattle with us, so I feel my goal of being able to evaluate myself in comparison to top level skaters was reached.  I was able to make a list of skills that to work on for the 2014 season.

Tryouts were finished, and since we were in Seattle, we decided that we had earned some time as tourists.  Our first stop was food!  We walked down to Pike’s Peak Market and indulged in clam chowder, pasta, Italian cream sodas, and some local beer.  We took in the sights down at the market, watched some fish tossing, and listened to some local musicians. We walked to the Space Needle, did some souvenir shopping for family and friends, and took a trip to the top of the Space Needle for lots of photos.  We grabbed some more delicious food and drinks, then continued our Seattle tour.  At the waterfront that evening, we enjoyed a ride on the Seattle Great Wheel that gave us an incredible view of the skyline and city lights.  Between walking all over Seattle and our four hour Team USA tryout, we were exhausted and decided it was time to end our Seattle Adventure.  It was definitely an experience I will not soon forget.

-Goldy Blocks, 3BRS

A main attraction of RollerCon is the opportunity to participate in challenge bouts. What are challenge bouts? Put simply, they’re shortened bouts that have a fun theme. The bouts are only half an hour with no halftime and you accrue four penalties before being ejected. The bout themes are anything from the semi-serious challenge (Team NM vs Team Utah) to the flippant (Team Trueblood vs Team Twilight). RollerCon 2013 saw gnomes, gingers, beards, countries, and comic book characters play for thirty minutes at a time with a mix of skaters from around the globe in sex-specific or coed bouts; all in good sportsmanship and humor.

While skaters do have to sign up beforehand for themed bouts, their organization is somewhat chaotic depending on when the challenge bout is scheduled. For instance, bouts scheduled for the last day of RollerCon or that compete with popular social events (Black and Blue Ball) will see more last-minute recruits than skaters that signed up for the bout early on.

Since you can jump onto a roster 20 minutes before a bout start means you should carry a variety of colored tops and have a sharpie handy to scribble someone else’s number onto your shirt or (in the case of several of us jumping onto the Colonies vs Brits bout) roll up your shirt/skate in a sports bra and sharpie the number right onto your back. Last minute add ins also means you could end up being a brunette playing for team Blonds or, as Ginja and Goldy found out, you can be a red head and a blond on team Cholas sporting khaki shorts and red shirts with sharpied-on tear drops to fit the theme.

For the fourth year in a row, The Venomous Dimilo and I loaded up the Venom-mobile and traveled through the desert in search of skating, debauchery, insight, and networking (ahem…partying) with the derby world. We traveled through the Joshua Tree Forest and over theHoover Dam eagerly anticipating all that Sin City had to offer us during Rollercon 2013. This year Fatal Mishtake, Captain Howdy, and one brave ref suffered through the grueling ride with us. Rollercon has become quite the myriad of traditions for many of us. Hitting In-N-Out Burger in Arizona, meeting for Vietnamese food on the first floor of Treasure Island, skating the strip, and happy hour atop the Stratosphere are just a few events that have become Las Vegas staples for us during this annual conference.

Rollercon 2013 boasted 5,000 skaters and spectators from around the globe, 17 of which were CCD members! Skaters travel looking to improve their technique, learn how to improve the functioning of their league, and best of all play some derby! Challenge bouts have become much more intense over the years. The athleticism exhibited by skaters is nothing short of amazing. Some noteworthy bouts this year include Cholas vs. Chongas (featuring our very own Hell Paseo, Goldy Blocks, and Ginja Snap),Vagine Ragime vs. Caulksuckers (which is basically a showcase of the fiercest female athletes derby has to offer all on one track), Denver Roller Dolls vs. Arch Rival Roller Girls which kept us at the edge of our seats, and No Soul Gingers vs. Yellow Fever (showcasing our very own Jesus H. Coach)! My favorite moment? During Borderland vs. Heartland there was a three second period when Rx Bex and I held off Death By Chocolate during a power jam and while it was a brief… it felt like WINNING!

Rollercon not only gives us the opportunity to watch some of our favorite skaters on the track it offers the opportunity to skate right alongside them and perhaps even share a bit of airspace as we all shuffle along the never ending hallways of the Riviera Hotel and Casino. This year CCD skaters proudly stalked and skated alongside great names like Demanda Riot, Suzy Hotrod, Amanda Jamitinya, Scald Eagle, Serelson, Tara Armov, and my personal favorite… Buns of Fury. Seeing derby idols wait in line for coffee, stroll the corridors, and take the track with or against you is like a tiny piece of heaven for most of us derby fanatics. Skating alongside 5,000 women and men who take to the pavement  on quad skates abusing their bodies, pushing their own physical limitations, and skating five on five just like we do back in little old Las Cruces is enough to put everyone on a long time derby high.

The most important lesson I took from this year’s conference is that Crossroads City Derby is a force to be reckoned with. While I loved watching the big names do their thing on the track, I loved even more watching Racky Balboa take out a guy twice her size. I swooned when General Grant Slam busted through the strongest four wall I’ve ever seen and flew through to the other side like a gazelle. I was overcome with pride watching The Venomous Dimilo jam like a beast on her sturdy Cankles showing the Skankles team what superior ankles should really look like.  I cherished watching the infectious smiles on Nikki Six Shooter and Boozeberry Pie’s faces as we sat down to dinner following their first skate down the strip. Mostly though, I loved watching how other people watched us… and wondered how we could possibly love each other this much! While I’ve always felt that the women of CCD are bonded in a special way, it was nice to look around and know I am not the only one who feels the derby love we share.

Derby Love,
Puncher Villa #1919
Crossroads City Derby President

When we were told the Sucias would be participating in the San Angelo tournament on August 17 we were thrilled. It was going to be a derby filled couple of months but the more play time the better. The week before the tournament a family emergency called our coach, Jesus H. Coach, and captain, General Grant Slam, away. Worry and fear for our leaders and the struggles they were facing spread like wildfire through the league. In true derby fashion several skaters stepped up to fill in by running practice and assuring everyone that we were going to work harder than ever to prepare for the tournament. In that same week more tragedy struck as our beloved BoozeBerry Pie broke her arm during a scrimmage. Our hearts were further dampened.

We continued on, practiced hard, and nervously prepared for the upcoming tournament. It was not until the president of our great league offered to coach us in San Angelo that we calmed down enough to regain clarity of mission.Puncher Villa stepped up and not only kept us reassured and focused but also showed every participant in the tournament what true professionalism looks like. I am certain that no one, especially the refs, anticipated that the hundred pound Pantene model on the sideline was our fiercest asset. She educated the refs from the “box of shame” with an unparalleled confidence.  Our tournament started out with an inspirational talk from La Punch. She told us she had just spoken to our captain and coach and they were heartbroken to not be with us. She told us that the people we trust most in this world fought hard to get us ready for this tournament. She reminded us that we are never alone with our sisters on the track. We knew what needed to be done. We knew that perhaps winning this tournament would bring a smile to the face of someone lying in a hospital bed fighting cancer hundreds of miles away, if only for a minute. So we tied purple ribbons to our helmets and did what we do.

We got first in the tournament and left one hell of an impression. I wish I could don my sports commentator alter ego now and tell you about specifically epic plays that occurred, or regale you with details of all the heroism I witnessed. Unfortunately, I have long suffered from derby amnesia. I would like to say it is due to being hyper focused on the task at hand when I am in the game but I believe it is my fear induced adrenaline shock that deletes the details. The one detail burned into my brain from our San Angelo adventure is that we did indeed bring a smile to the face of the now dubbed “Quad-Father.”

-The Venomous DiMilo, #1023